Taking the Steps of Faith-Waiting in Expectation

Anyone who knows me well understands that I abhor my current job.  Everything about it makes me cringe, except for the check, no matter how meager it is, that is deposited into my bank account every few weeks.  I have to be thankful that I at least have a job, and can add to the bottom line of my household.

 I have dreamed of owning a business and becoming a Commercial Realtor for several years.  I've even gotten so far as to get my real estate license a few years ago and to join a few brokers.  The challenge has been that none of the brokers could support my dream of entering into the commercial realm.  Either one broker wants me to jump in full time with no guarantee of salary, or another just doesn't have the resources or provide the support that I need to learn and grow into this business to effectively consult my clients.  I've made some great connections already--with investors, business owners, a few bankers, commercial lenders, and even a connection with an individual who works in the DC Department of Economic Development.  I've had several large opportunities fall right through the cracks  due to a lack of support and know-how to pursue and close the deals.

However, God knows the desires of our hearts and He does not want us to give up.  Last week, I'd entertained the idea of attending a small business meeting held in my county to learn more about financing for a new business as well as commercial options.  The night before, I stayed up much too late writing a blog that had been on my heart for awhile.  Because I knew I'd be exhausted the next morning, I prayed to God that it if was meant for me to attend the meeting that next morning, He'd wake me up before my alarm clock went off.  Sure enough, ten minutes before the alarm was to sound, I was fearfully awakened by what I thought were noises in the kitchen--only to find that they were noises of the icemaker on the freezer.  I looked at the clock thinking it was the middle of the night to learn that I had five minutes to get out of bed and get ready to attend the meeting after dropping my daughter off to school.  Little did I know that I'd meet multiple small business owners who were looking to acquire commercial property in the future, as well as a commercial representative who would lead me to her broker-a newly formed commercial division of Keller Williams, right here in PG County!  The broker's office is a mere 10 minutes from my daughter's school, and the training and support provided is phenomenal from what I can see so far.  I met with the rep today, and she has given me the names of the two individuals that I would need to speak to in order to get started.

Now, I have no idea how this is to work, as I still rely on my paycheck from my current position to assist with household bills.  However, this meeting was orchestrated by God, and I am going to trust Him and take the steps of faith by following through on the meetings, etc. and move a few steps closer to my dream.  I'm waiting in expectation to see how He'll work it all out--He's always faithful and we can't put Him in a box as to how he'll do the impossible!! 

Patience in Restoration-- Seeing God's Promise Coming To Pass

It has been awhile since my last post, I guess I was a bit exasperated after sharing my tragedy.  I decided on Monday that I was simply not ready to return to work, despite already having a few weeks off after my miscarrriage.  I've since had a few "low" days, as I found myself at home with so much time on my hands and simply watching the "boob tube" to kill the time between dropping my daughter off at school at 8 and picking her up by 3pm. 

This is far different from my feelings of elation last week after my remarkable revelation of restoration and rebuilding .  I now realize that the enemy is trying to steal my joy during this time, as he knows how close I am to walking right into my season!  Therefore, I have to take a step back and examine what has miraculously happened over the last week.  As you may recall from my earlier posts, my marriage has been severely strained for a period of 4 years.  I have cried a lot of tears, have had a lot of anger, have prayed, oh I've faithfully prayed.  Knowing that God wanted to use my marriage as a testimony to others was the "string" that sometimes held me together during this rough time.  Most of the challenges have derived from an assumed breach of trust, an incident that has driven a wedge between me and the man that I love so dearly.  What makes matters worse is that all along I've known that the mere fact that this so called "incident" has had such a stronghold on my marriage definitely attests to the fact that this battle is not about flesh and blood.  It's clearly a spiritual battle, one that can only be won with the power of my Almighty Father above.  Well, being a Christian and having faith, this should be easy, right? Of course not!  If anyone has ever been falsely accused and continued to pay the "price" of trying to rebuild assumed broken trust in a marriage for 4 consecutive years amongst job loss, financial troubles, misery in Corporate America, and the arduous task of raising a young daughter, one can and does get very weary.  All I can say is God brought me through and standing on His word carried me on when I felt I could go no longer.  His strength really is made perfect in our weakness if we simply confess our feelings of inadequacy to Him. God is awesome! Sometimes, however, when we are focusing on one area of our lives (my work situation and how it will all work out), we can miss the blessings that come in other areas of our lives if we're not careful.  You see, over the past week, I now realize that it is as if God breathed new "life" into my marriage.  I seemed to have overnight regained the affections of my husband, which means so much to me.  Miraculously and suddenly, he looks at me with love instead of disdain, wants to talk to me constantly, and wants to renew a sense of intimacy that we've lacked for so long!  The restoration has begun! My husband even overlooked our financial hardships to focus on the additional time I needed away from work and even willingly offered to pick up my slack on his second job.  This is huge!! Monumental!! Phenomenal!!  I want to bask in this and NOT let the enemy steal my joy.

My lesson in this that I'd like to share is simple. It's all about our focus.  If we focus on God and how faithful He is,  and the blessings that we receive every day, we will be in a posture of gratefulness, and will not miss the blessings that we may have prayed for incessantly.  Conversely, if we focus on our circumstances (there's always something in our lives that we're not happy about) then we may miss giving God the praise that He so deserves.  Have patience, read the word, and KNOW THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL!! This is the season for harvest, and I know that I don't want to miss it!!!!!